I am John-Martin, this is what my mother, currently living in Rukungiri, remembers and joyfully calls me! I was satisfied with ‘John’ for the last 55 years, but now it is John-Martin!

I was born in Uganda on the 25th of July 1967. Just two weeks after my birth, my dear mother was in Thika, Kenya, handing me over to other people to take care of me. She told me that she was extremely sad, crying, and I, a two-week-old baby, looked into her eyes and smiled. For the last 55 years, she uttered a simple daily prayer:

“Lord, if John-Martin is alive, please protect him. If he is dead, may he rest in peace.”

I was cherished and taken care of by an elderly couple, and I grew up in the Creole island culture of the Seychelles Islands. I left Seychelles in 2006, and since then I have lived in Manila, Philippines. 

I am currently a lecturer at the Ateneo de Manila University, a Jesuit institution, and a PhD Candidate in Anthropology at the University of the Philippines in Diliman.

Since 2007, I have been actively searching for my Ugandan biological mother without any success. On the night of the 1st of July 2022, I had a very powerful dream that motivated me to search again! This time I found my mother’s village through Google Maps. This was my first victory! 

I then browsed through the University of Kabale website and was caught by the warm smiling face of Prof. Katusiimeh Mesharch Walto, Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences. Within a week, his contacts found my dear mother, and I visited them in Uganda in September 2022.

The desire to find my father was also there. My mother kept uttering the name of my father phonetically but could not remember its written form. Dr. Walto felt that I might get some enlightenment from Archbishop Emeritus Paul Bakyenga, who happened to be his friend and village neighbor. We met on the 1st of October 2022 at Bishop Bakyenga’s residence in Sheema District.

As we arrived at his home, I was filled with mixed emotions…would he be able to see us without an appointment? At the same time, I felt deeply reassured that he would respond to Dr. Walto’s ‘knock on the door’ since they were good friends

 The Gappy family, Prof Katusiimeh and His Grace Archbishop Bakyenga

Archbishop Bakyenga came in smiling and warmly welcomed us. I briefly introduced everyone and then started to share about my visit to Mbarara. As I recounted what happened to me, I saw some tears swelling in the Archbishop’s eyes… I was not sure if I should continue. He felt my hesitation and immediately said,

“I might be very emotional listening to your story…but it’s okay, continue.”

I realized that he was deeply absorbed in my story…walking in my shoes indeed. It takes a lot of unconditional love and spiritual humility for a person to allow himself to become vulnerable to other people’s life experiences.

As soon as I ended my short explanation, he immediately declared:

“I know him, your father!”

I froze…. Knowing how delicate and sensitive my story is, I was not expecting him to outrightly say what he felt. I was expecting him to ponder over it…take time to decide what he should tell me or not. But he did not retain anything:

“When I was a seminarian and getting ready to continue my theological studies abroad, there was a rumor going on in the diocese…”

I felt deeply comfortable by then to freely be myself with him, and I answered…

“I guess that I am that rumor!”

Bishop, smiling:

“Interesting! Very interesting! Even more interesting that I get to meet you…”

Archbishop Bakyenga had this special gift whereby he could shed tears, tackle serious and sensitive matters, and at the same time keep on smiling. Amid everything, his voice resounded with respectful humor that allowed everyone to remain at ease at all times. His presence drew out the best positive feelings of everyone.

Without any hesitation, he shared whatever he could remember about the 1966-1967 ‘rumor,’ and this information allowed me to find my two sisters on my father’s side; my father passed away in 2008.

Profound peace entered my heart! A truly Christlike lifetime encounter!

We then shared some lighthearted talk. He wanted us to stay longer and share dinner with him. Unfortunately, because of my limited time, we left each other at sunset. But he did not let me go empty-handed…I walked away with a Johnny Walker Black Label!

I sincerely miss Archbishop Bakyenga… The little time that I spent with him was enough for him to be part of my life forever. Not only because he clarified the name of my father but mainly because he was genuinely fatherly! A great human being whom we already miss.

May he rest in joyful peace!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: John Martin Bernard GAPPY is a Lecturer at Ateneo de Manila University, Philippines. He can be reached on: Email: jgappy@ateneo.edu